He is JEALOUS for me.....
I think one of the greatest fears as being a parent is that something seriously harmful will happen to your child. This is something I have to continually give to the Lord, realizing that these precious gifts that He has given me are ultimately His and He loves them more than I can even imagine. Around the time Miriam was in the hospital, the Lord lovingly impressed some truths upon my heart. I had already been looking at these fears and the Lord had been helping me through it for some time now. Then while we were at General Conference, Dr. Oswalt spoke on what God is truly saying when Scripture says that He is a jealous God. This idea of jealousy is not how we picture it today, being jealous of something someone else has. Instead God is jealous FOR us....He loves us with an unbelievable, mindblowing love and desires His absolute best for us....He is jealous for us! I had been thinking on these things when Miriam ended up in the hospital. You always hate where you imagination takes you at times when you start imagining the worst that might happen. I don't think I need to go any further. But this was my little baby girl in the hospital, hooked up to an IV and monitors and it was breaking my heart. Even though I knew she was going to be OK, I still came face to face with my fears again. I had to come to a place of again giving her back to God, saying, no matter what, I will still praise the Lord and choose to trust in Him. My Heavenly Father was so gentle with me. He knows the deepest parts of my being and knew exactly how to calm me. I was driving back to the hospital after being home for a few hours with Isaac when all these thoughts are swirling around in my head. The Lord then made everything start to click....He is JEALOUS for me! He is JEALOUS for my little girl! No matter what happens in life's circumstances, He desires his absolute best for us. As this realization hits, a song by David Crowder begins playing on the radio, and guess how it starts out...."He is JEALOUS for me!" Ha! I think the Lord was trying to get a point across. And He wasn't quite finished yet! As I got to her hospital room, I picked her up and sat down in the rocker. As I sat there gazing into her precious little chubby face, understanding of God's jealousy came showering over me again. I was jealous for her! I wanted the best for her! And how much more does our Heavenly Father desire that for us! I praise God for His peace that He gives to us in the midst of some of the rougher days of our lives. I realized that my little girl was in the best place she could be, in the loving arms of a jealous God.
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